Currently, my attention is fixed on my phone. Like many individuals across the United States, I access news through a variety of digital channels – posts on social media, audio programs, and email newsletters. When significant events unfold, particularly those with dramatic real-world implications, I find it difficult to disengage. I observe firsthand accounts from protests in Minneapolis and read analyses from experts discussing international law and geopolitical actions. The sheer volume necessitates consumption across multiple platforms.
Curiously, the more I absorb content and perspectives from others, the more pronounced my sense of isolation becomes. This phenomenon is not novel. Sociologists have been examining it for decades. In 1950, researchers David Riesman, Nathan Glazer, and Reuel Denney published “The Lonely Crowd,” a seminal work positing that the proliferation of consumer culture and mass media had fostered a distinct personality type acutely susceptible to feelings of loneliness.
They identified this disposition as “other-directed.” Their contemporaneous observations resonate with striking accuracy in our current landscape, characterized by pervasive social media and the emergence of artificial intelligence chatbots. Other-directed individuals exhibit a constant awareness of their surroundings and peer groups. Their decisions regarding purchases, attire, and opinions are heavily influenced by the prevailing preferences of their social circles. This reliance on external validation, rather than the influence of elders or ancestral traditions, cultivates a present-focused outlook, often detached from historical context. Riesman and his colleagues cautioned that these individuals possess a profound compulsion to conform, a persistent anxiety to be part of a collective, and a constant pursuit of entertainment. Above all, the fear of solitude dictates their behavior.
These described personality traits are readily discernible in individuals navigating the complexities of social media. The environment is rife with peer pressure, parasocial interactions with online personalities, and, in contemporary times, extensive surveillance capabilities. We are perpetually observing one another and, in turn, being observed. The inherent fear of being alone drives corporations to develop applications designed to create an illusion of constant companionship. This presents an insidious dimension to AI chatbots, some of which are specifically engineered to simulate friendly interaction.
Within the psyche of an other-directed person lies a fundamental paradox. While the desire to conform and belong to a group may be strong, there also exists an equally potent aspiration for individuality. Riesman and his associates posited that consumerism itself acts as a mechanism to alleviate this anxiety by offering what they termed “false personalization.” This is evident when one grapples with choosing from numerous nearly identical items, such as multiple polo shirts. The act of selection might create a fleeting sensation of finding a product uniquely suited to one’s taste. However, at a foundational level, these items are indistinguishable, ultimately resulting in the adoption of a style shared by many.
This form of manufactured individuality infiltrates the digital realm through the algorithms that curate our online experiences. Platforms like TikTok employ “for you” feeds, presenting content that appears custom-tailored to individual preferences. Yet, this curated selection is governed by an algorithm that operates beyond the user’s control, primarily functioning to retain engagement by keeping users immersed in the same application as everyone else. The “for you” designation ultimately serves the purpose of reinforcing conformity.
As other-directed individuals, our avenues for self-expression are predominantly channeled through participation in peer groups or by “joining the conversation,” a common marketing slogan. We transform ourselves into digital content, contributing our thoughts and visuals to the overwhelming volume of information online. The implicit message is to embrace authenticity by demonstrating adherence to prevailing trends and activities. Despite these efforts, a persistent feeling of loneliness remains. This is partly attributable to the essential differences between tangible, in-person relationships and their digital counterparts. However, another, perhaps more profound, dynamic is at play, linked to the personality shifts detailed in “The Lonely Crowd.”
When we construct our identities based on perceived external expectations, we inadvertently suppress vital aspects of ourselves: our genuine, unpolished, unconventional, and non-conformist desires. Meaningful connections with others become elusive when we lack self-understanding. Riesman and his co-authors proposed two strategies to address the challenges associated with the other-directed personality. Firstly, they advocated for reclaiming leisure time from the relentless demands of hyper-consumerist media. The extensive effort invested in monitoring peers, they argued, resembles labor, necessitating a greater allocation of time for unstructured play.
This leads to their second recommendation: individuals, particularly young people, should actively explore new identities and experiences. The aim is to discover personal interests independent of external definitions of enjoyment. Engaging in novel activities, adopting unconventional attire, or initiating conversations with unfamiliar neighbors can foster self-discovery. Such experimentation allows for surprising oneself and observing the impact of these choices.
True self-understanding cannot be achieved through algorithmically generated content feeds or simulated conversations with AI. Therefore, it is advisable to disconnect from digital devices, pursue unexpected endeavors, and embrace one’s authentic self for a period.
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Annalee Newitz is a science journalist and author. Their most recent publication is “Automatic Noodle.” They also co-host the Hugo Award-winning podcast “Our Opinions Are Correct.” Newitz can be followed on Twitter at @annaleen, and their website is techsploitation.com.